| "This business of hozho. The way I understand it... I'll | | | | Simple, not always easy - by becoming a witness, |
| use an example. Terrible drought, crops dead, sheep | | | | watcher and observer of your Self. Moving as |
| dying. Spring dried out. No water. The Hopi, or the | | | | effortlessly as you can and navigating through life - at |
| Christian, maybe the Moslem, they pray for rain. The | | | | work, at home, at play and in relationship - without an |
| Navajo has the proper ceremony done to restore | | | | ego-based agenda. We see what we see, we notice |
| himself to harmony with the drought. You see what I | | | | what we notice and we interact with those with |
| mean. The system is designed to recognize what's | | | | whom we interact - but - with curiosity, without |
| beyond human power to change, and then to change | | | | efforting or resisting without attachment or aversion. |
| the human's attitude to be content with the inevitable." - | | | | We observe, witness and watch without becoming |
| in 'Sacred Clowns' by Tony Hillerman | | | | emotionally involved, without judgment. |
| I want what I don't have; I don't want what I have - | | | | Watching your self, for example, becoming emotional |
| attachment and aversion | | | | around money, or appearance, or possessions, or |
| Many spiritual traditions, like Buddhism, tell us pain and | | | | becoming fearful around another person, or anxious in |
| suffering - mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and | | | | an uncomfortable or unpleasant circumstance, and |
| psychological - arise from attachment and aversions. | | | | being rather than emotionally reactive is the practice of |
| An attachment is an intense desire, craving, thirst, need, | | | | detachment. |
| clinging and the like to be something I am not, do | | | | The reason watching and observing are so powerful is |
| something I can't do or have something I don't have - | | | | because when you observe yourself obsessing about |
| related to, for example, health, appearance, finances, | | | | the object of your attachment or aversion, your level |
| personal environment, career, relationships, personality | | | | of consciousness is heightened to the degree that you |
| or neediness around elements such as attention, | | | | will begin to stop doing what doesn't serve you. You |
| recognition, security, love, control, ideas, beliefs and the | | | | cannot observe and react simultaneously - it's |
| like. | | | | impossible. |
| An aversion is an intense preoccupation with some | | | | Detachment is not a passive state |
| aspect or quality about my self That I possess or | | | | Detachment is not a dissociative state where one is |
| another possesses that I am resisting and resenting - | | | | less conscious or even unconscious, in denial or |
| related to, for example, health, appearance, finances, | | | | passive. When detached, you are consciously aware |
| personal environment, career, relationships, personality | | | | and engaged in your experience but you are not |
| or neediness around elements such as attention, | | | | attached to outcomes or obsessed with needing to be |
| recognition, security, love, control, ideas, beliefs and the | | | | in control. |
| like. | | | | Detachment is not about "caving." Detachment means |
| In both cases, my attention, attention, focus and | | | | you take "right action" as it's called in Buddhist terms. |
| emotional and physic energy are working overtime to | | | | You can be detached and be a "can-do" person at the |
| attract or resist. It's this incessant focus on the object | | | | same time. But, again, you're not attached to |
| of the attachment or aversion that is the root cause of | | | | outcomes. You do what your heart feels is right. You |
| our pain and suffering. | | | | move and you act. You just don't allow your ego to |
| What does attachment look and feel like? | | | | get caught up in any preconceived outcomes. |
| Attachment is like an addiction or hook which triggers | | | | Detachment is not about giving up what we want. It's |
| a reaction in me: I must be, I must do or I must have (fill | | | | about not obsessing over the object toward which we |
| in the blank with your attachments) and if I can't be, do | | | | direct our desires. When we detach from the object - |
| or have, then I experience some degree of pain or | | | | person, place, thing, idea, etc. - we contain our energy, |
| suffering, or if I cannot rid myself or another of the | | | | power and life force (instead of giving them away). |
| object of my aversion, pain and suffering result. | | | | Detachment means accept the fact that life can is |
| The downside of attachments is that, inevitably, your | | | | challenging and facing our life's challenges. When we |
| relationship to them becomes tenuous - producing | | | | let go of cravings, desires and attachments, we face |
| stress, anger, resistance, resentment, anxiety, fear, and | | | | life (even death) with equanimity - with nobility, integrity, |
| the like. Attachment and aversions cannot "not be" like | | | | dignity, respect, and openness to life's lessons that our |
| that. It's inherent in the nature of attachment - like | | | | challenges are presenting. |
| reaching for something beyond your grasp. | | | | "The tighter you squeeze, the less you have." - Zen |
| Take a moment and look at your attachments (or | | | | Saying |
| aversions) and reflect on how much discomfort you | | | | Letting go of attachments, and aversions, supports our |
| experience in reacting to them. You want your | | | | soul to experience a clear mental state where we |
| attachments to create a certain positive sense of | | | | understand, really understand from a higher/deeper |
| reality for you and what you often find is just the | | | | perspective, how to control our energies, with a sense |
| opposite reality - not feeling loved, supported, smart, | | | | of real self-love and empowerment, so our ego |
| beautiful, healthy, wealthy, and on and on. | | | | personality is not obsessed with (our or others') |
| When you inner happiness and peace depend on your | | | | needing to do, to be, or have in a self-destructive way. |
| external attachments and aversions, you'll never | | | | One of the ego's main beliefs is that we are separate |
| experience an authentic inner state of peace. More | | | | from everyone else. The ego lives from a zero-sum, |
| often, you'll experience some flavor of consistent | | | | survival-of-the-fittest perspective. So, to survive, our |
| frustration. But, you think by increasing the intensity with | | | | ego is driven to nurture more and more attachments |
| which pursue the object of your attachments or | | | | (and aversions) to people, places, things, possessions, |
| aversions, you'll experience a greater degree of | | | | ideas, beliefs, relationships and the like. Fearing loss |
| happiness or inner peace. How sas that approach to | | | | (even loss of a belief, premise, idea or life itself) is a |
| life honestly been working for you up to now? | | | | threat to the survival of our ego. From the ego's |
| Honestly? | | | | perspective, competition, and self-interest are |
| The antidote to attachment - detachment - not | | | | absolutely necessary to maintain survival. And |
| unattachment | | | | attachments feed our obsession with surviving. |
| "He who would be serene and pure needs but one | | | | In this place, contentment, cooperation, collaboration |
| thing, detachment." - Meister Eckhart | | | | and compassion, first with our Self, and then with |
| Freedom from pain and suffering comes through our | | | | others, replace fear - the driver of attachment and |
| release from attachments and aversions. Detachment | | | | aversion. When we let go of our attachments we |
| means taking conscious control over our attachments | | | | enter a state of soul-filled equanimity - a state of |
| so they stop controlling us. | | | | harmony, balance and connection with our Higher Self - |
| Viewing life from a place of detachment does not | | | | where we know that everything is unfolding according |
| mean we are unattached - i.e, cold, uncaring, etc. What | | | | to a Universal or Divine plan. |
| detachment means is that we are living "inside" our | | | | So, some questions for self-reflection are: |
| Self - contained within our Self so as not to be driven | | | | - What are you attached to that causes you suffering |
| by externals. | | | | in some way? What don't you have that you crave or |
| When we're detached, it's impossible for us to get | | | | what do you have that you resist? |
| "hooked" by another's' 9or our own) wants, needs, | | | | - When you sense a deep desire, craving, or |
| emotions or feelings. We're not upset or manipulated | | | | attachment, do you ever consider what you may be |
| by others, or by our own ego-created obsessions, | | | | trying to escape from? |
| desires and cravings. Detached, we can feel caring, | | | | - Have you ever watched or observed yourself from |
| empathic and compassionate towards others, and our | | | | "outside" yourself? What was that like? What did you |
| Self, without becoming foggy or confused about how | | | | see or discover about yourself? |
| we think, feel or act. We don't get caught up in others' | | | | - Whom or what are you holding on to? |
| (or our own) stories or drama. Nor do we need others | | | | - What do you feel you are lacking - that you need to |
| to be a certain way. | | | | get it from someone or something? |
| Curiously, what drives much of our unhappiness, and | | | | - Attachment equals selfishness. What does that |
| even insanity, is our addiction to our attachments - | | | | mean to you? |
| which, mistakenly, we feel will bring us happiness and | | | | - Holding on reflects a lack of love of self love. Would |
| peace. Nothing is further from the truth. | | | | you agree? Why, why not? |
| The truth is that surviving handily in this world, with our | | | | - Can you remember your earliest attachments or |
| happiness and sanity intact, demands detachment, | | | | aversions when you were growing up? How did those |
| letting go from those people, places, things, and ideas | | | | attachments or aversions affect your experience of |
| (ours and others') that drain or manipulate our energies. | | | | love, support or comfort? |
| How do I practice detachment? | | | | |