| According to Buddha, the cause of suffering is | | | | enjoyed them immensely during the time he had them. |
| attachment, anger and ignorance. Ever think of how | | | | I had to detach to become free and release the anger. |
| much you are attached to things? Most of us do not | | | | It did not serve me to hold on to any of the emotions |
| even realize this until we are in a situation of loss or | | | | and I knew in the long run I had no control over it |
| near loss. | | | | anyway. Was I mad? No. Did I like it? No. I was really |
| In India, it is said that the way to catch a monkey is to | | | | disappointed however and I expressed that to him and |
| carve out a hole in a log big enough for the monkey to | | | | what I thought was an appropriate alternative. Being |
| put his hand into it. Put nuts or something sweet into | | | | mad is holding anger. |
| the hole to lure him. He will reach in for the nuts but he | | | | Here are some ways to deal with attachment: |
| will not be able to pull out his hand nor will he surrender | | | | - Get in touch with your true feelings: what are you |
| and let go of the nuts. He in essence, is trapped by his | | | | really feeling and what exactly are the issues. |
| own doing and his will. | | | | - See yourself as an observer and look at what is |
| Does this sound familiar to you? | | | | happening: are you reacting or responding. Reacting is |
| An old boyfriend confessed to me that when he broke | | | | attachment, responding is detachment. Ask yourself |
| up with me he got rid of everything in his house that I | | | | what would be the best way to handle this situation so |
| had given him. Many of the things I gave him were | | | | that it is a win-win for all parties involved. |
| from my own hope chest and things that we had | | | | - Get help with processing your feelings: find a good |
| bought together when he was starting up his new | | | | therapist in your area or ask around for referrals. |
| home. Everything had a special meaning to me. The | | | | - Surrender and turn the problem over to a higher |
| thought that things were given away without offering | | | | power if it is something you cannot deal with |
| the things back to me was something that I had a | | | | effectively: let go and let God some people believe. |
| very difficult time handling emotionally. | | | | You will be better served letting go. |
| I, me, mine came up for me immediately paired with | | | | - Keep a journal: write down your thoughts and |
| "what about me" and "that was my stuff". After about | | | | observations. Sometimes things clear as you write |
| a minute more of dealing with the shock, I immediately | | | | them. |
| switched my thinking to "wow, I am really attached to | | | | We all have choices when we are faced with life |
| all of this". I reminded myself of the teachings of | | | | events and other people's personalities and coping |
| Buddha and how suffering is linked. I realized that the | | | | mechanisms. The quicker we can let go of things and |
| quickest way to heal in regards to this issue was to let | | | | surrender, the better we will be able to move freely |
| go of the attachment. In reality, I had to think that I | | | | towards happiness. Otherwise, we'll be caught like the |
| gave him the items freely and that he (and I) had | | | | monkey and stuck by our own involution. |