| 1. Know that complaints are an issue in every area of | | | | 7. Watch how people express their views about |
| ministry. The more you do not take complaints and | | | | something they dislike. Those who can define their |
| criticism personally, the better off you will be | | | | position in terms of themselves are more mature than |
| emotionally and the more you will be effective in | | | | those who say "you should," or "you should not" or |
| ministry. | | | | "they always" or "they never." This will give you a clue |
| 2. Maintain some humility. Sometimes complaints are | | | | as to those who are more mature than others. |
| about an area where you need to improve. | | | | 8. Use care when expressing YOUR views about |
| 3. Avoid getting defensive. It takes energy, and it | | | | something you do not like. Try not to react but to think |
| undermines your effectiveness as a leader. | | | | through your response first. As above, define your |
| 4. Apologize when necessary. It will go a long way | | | | position in terms of yourself rather than others: "I" |
| toward defusing criticism. | | | | rather than "you" or "they." Take responsibility for your |
| 5. Expect criticism and complaints when you take a | | | | own position. |
| stand or move in a clear direction as a leader. This is | | | | 9. Notice when the petty everyday stuff starts getting |
| not about you; it is about the whole system reacting to | | | | to you. Some days, weeks and months it will wash off |
| an upset in the balance. Stay on course, and do not let | | | | your back, other times it will be like fingernails on a |
| it throw you. Coach other leaders to do the same. | | | | chalkboard. This IS about you and your own emotional |
| 6. Notice that complaints may bubble up in areas that | | | | state, and finding some ways to get a little distance |
| are not related to the direction you are moving. For | | | | physically or emotionally will help. |
| example, if you take a stand or make a move to | | | | 10. Remember that a complaint-free church is probably |
| develop worship in a new way, problems may come | | | | going nowhere. That much togetherness works |
| up in the youth group or the building committee. This is | | | | against growth and development. Complaints are part |
| normal. Churches, like other systems, resist change in a | | | | of the price of progress. Do not take it too seriously. |
| variety of ways. | | | | |