| During this time of tremendous shift and change, it can | | | | My body hurt, my mind began to chatter almost |
| be difficult to come back to "center". Back to balance | | | | constantly, and when I could muster some humor in all |
| and harmony. Part of doing this is becoming aware of | | | | of this, I realized that I am never really alone, not when I |
| when we are out of balance, and not grounded or | | | | have my thoughts! Remembering that we have more |
| centered. | | | | than 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day, the constant |
| We live in such a fast paced society, that it can be | | | | flow of disjointed conversations were incredible. I also |
| easy to lose ourselves in work, family, over | | | | came to realize how cruel some of our thoughts are |
| commitments and busyness. So the question is, how | | | | and the violence that we mentally, and quite |
| do we begin to tune in to being out of balance in the | | | | unconsciously, put ourselves through. |
| first place? I would like to share with you my own | | | | The Vipassana meditation is structured around the |
| awareness and journey of coming back to center, at | | | | pure teachings of Buddha. It's based on the quantum |
| least for fleeting moments, that seem to get longer the | | | | physics of "mind and matter". Our mental mind and the |
| more I slow down enough to notice. | | | | stories we make up, and matter relating to our physical |
| After my huge transition this last year of selling my | | | | body. Through this training, we begin noticing the |
| home, relocating and settling into a new place, I | | | | different subtle sensations that we have throughout |
| became acutely aware of how burned out I was and | | | | our body, and the realization, that we are addicted to |
| emotionally exhausted. This showed up as fatigue, | | | | the feelings or sensations that we have; that is the |
| anxiety, discontentment and a lack of motivation. Prior | | | | cravings and repulsions of certain sensations. As a |
| to my awareness of my emotional condition, per | | | | result, we also experience the continual desire to |
| recommendation of a colleague, I made arrangements | | | | recreate a particular sensation. In the movie, "What the |
| to do a 10 day silent Vipassana retreat shortly after | | | | Bleep do we Know?", Candace Pert, a scientist, talked |
| my house closed and I officially moved out. | | | | about the addiction we have to the emotion of love. |
| The thought of 10 days of silence was magnificent. I | | | | She noted how quickly someone can fall out of love |
| was yearning for stillness and solitude; with no one | | | | with a person if they don't respond in a way that |
| expecting anything from me. In my mind's eye these | | | | "feels" good. This, in combination with our thoughts, can |
| precious 10 days, would be a wonderful opportunity to | | | | create patterns of habituation or body memory which |
| come back home to myself and to rest deeply. | | | | causes us to keep recreating a pattern of feeling or |
| I mentioned this retreat to a dear friend of mine, who | | | | being that either causes us pain or gives us pleasure. |
| very quickly agreed to accompany me. As we both | | | | One reason why it is so difficult to change a habit or |
| made preparations for our silent "vacation", friends | | | | pattern is because of the cellular memory we have |
| would make comments such as, "But, what if you | | | | around it, hence our sensations that we experience in |
| want to leave the retreat?" And both of us would | | | | our body. Deepak Chopra said that we only have tow |
| smile and smugly say, "Will, that's about you and not | | | | feelings; yum and yuck. |
| me!" Others would say, "I can't imagine being silent for | | | | Being trained in so many disciplines that address the |
| 10 days. How will you ever do it?" Again, we would | | | | body memory, I was grateful to experience the |
| smile and say, "I can't wait!" | | | | fullness of what that meant on a very deep and |
| The day we set out on our grand adventure, we were | | | | visceral level. The body pain that I experienced was |
| filled with excitement. For my friend, it was her first | | | | from repressed emotional /body trauma. Because I |
| time away from her family for almost 20 years. She | | | | had never sat for 10 hours a day before, the pain that |
| made certain that there was enough food, supplies | | | | was repressed never surfaced. When I became |
| and phone numbers to ensure that her family would be | | | | aware of my resistance to the pain and the desire to |
| well taken care of. For me, I made arrangements that | | | | push it away, I was able to relax into being in the |
| my two cats would be nurtured and loved, while I was | | | | moment and releasing the pain. I came to fully realize |
| away. So, after all of this conscious preparation, all | | | | how impermanent everything is and that within a |
| was well for both of us to leave our homes. | | | | moment we can shift away resistance to acceptance. |
| As we made our way to our restful retreat destination, | | | | Pema Chodron, an American Buddhist nun, said that |
| we laughed, talked and shared our excitement. | | | | one of the most difficult things a person can do is to |
| Curiously, as we were approaching our freeway exit | | | | meditate because when one is still, body memory is |
| to the retreat center, both of us became acutely | | | | released and we can be flooded with unresolved |
| aware of our physical reactions to the upcoming reality | | | | emotion, trauma and memories. Our mind acts like a |
| of going into silence for so many days. We both | | | | cap to keep us distracted from what is going on inside |
| experienced sweaty palms, rapid heart rate and a | | | | our bodies. Meditating allows the space for |
| "what are we doing?" response. | | | | tremendous healing to occur if we don't push it away. |
| The closer to the retreat center we got, the more | | | | The reason that the Vipassana training is for 10 days |
| aware of our reactions we were. Yet, both of us | | | | is because it takes around 4 - 5 days before the mind |
| eased into the deep knowingness that we were | | | | gives it up and surrenders to what is. I noticed that |
| where we needed to be and that all was well. | | | | when I surrendered to the pain and struggle, I was able |
| As we were welcomed into the center, we were | | | | to fully be present in the moment. As a result, my |
| amazed at how many folks were attending. There | | | | memory and experience of the 10 days felt soft |
| were 34 women and 34 men ready to step into 10 | | | | without any exaggerated story or drama. Being in the |
| days of silence and 10 hours a day of meditating. I was | | | | precious moments allowed me to move through my |
| amazed, and wondered what motivated these folks to | | | | pain and quiet my mind. |
| go deep within and spend 10 days of their life in silence. | | | | I wonder if this deep awareness of being with what is, |
| What were they looking for, and what were they | | | | could perhaps release the addiction to drama. What if |
| hoping to gain? Such a personal question and yet, my | | | | we consciously consented to the truth that we were |
| curiosity was peaked. | | | | dealt? Not to become victims or passive, rather |
| During the late afternoon and early evening of our | | | | consent to what is and move forward in a proactive |
| orientation, we ate together, were told the ground rules, | | | | way thus allowing solutions to emerge. |
| chatted amongst ourselves and asked a few nervous | | | | I would invite anyone who was interested in releasing, |
| questions. Then, at 7:30 pm we entered into noble | | | | clearing away and becoming aware of beliefs, |
| silence and began our inner journey of self reflection, | | | | attitudes and patterns that may no longer serve you to |
| insight, resolution and deep awareness. | | | | research the possibility of doing a Vipassana retreat. If |
| The next 10 days were amazing. I quickly learned how | | | | you decide to do it, make sure that you spend time |
| I so confidently talked about these 10 days when it | | | | making the decision because it is a challenging |
| was something in the future, and how that confidence | | | | experience and the results are amazing. For me, it |
| shifted when I was actually experiencing the silence | | | | was life changing and I know that my personal |
| and long hours of meditating. What occurred to me, is | | | | awareness's will continue to surface as I move deeper |
| how often we reflect into the future with plans, | | | | into integrating all that happened in those 10 days. I feel |
| intentions and anticipation yet when we actually step | | | | blessed that I was able to experience this truly |
| into the reality of taking the action steps of achieving | | | | phenomenal training. |
| those things, it may be much different than what we | | | | For more information you can google Vipassana |
| had ever begun to imagine. | | | | meditation. |