| Ju came from a closely-knitted family of five sisters | | | | really cried. I let it all out. The only person I did not tell |
| and two brothers. She was thirty-six years old when | | | | was my mum. I didn't want my mum to worry at that |
| diagnosed with breast cancer in 1995 - a most | | | | time. |
| unexpected and shocking episode indeed. It has been | | | | Q: In front of everybody? Others cried too? |
| twelve years since her diagnosis and Ju is still doing | | | | Ju: Oh yes. |
| fine. In May 2007, I conducted an in-depth interview of | | | | Q: In 1995 when you felt a lump in your right breast, |
| her case. | | | | you went to the hospital. What made you decide to go |
| Q: Tell us how the problem started. | | | | for the lumpectomy? How long was the time between |
| Ju: It was 1995. My son was only seven years old then. | | | | discovering the lump and going to the hospital? |
| I always felt numbness in my right hand. One night | | | | Ju: Something like four to five months. Given a choice I |
| while sleeping, I felt a lump in my right breast. I jokingly | | | | wouldn't want to go for medical intervention. But |
| told my husband, "Alamak! What if this turns out to be | | | | because after doing the qigong and change of diet, I |
| cancerous?" I tried doing qigong etc. When I did it, there | | | | could still feel the lump and a little numbness in the |
| was no numbness. When I didn't do it, it came back | | | | body |
| again. In those days, I did not read and do not know | | | | Q: When change of diet and exercise did not help, you |
| much about cancer. After the check-up, the surgeon | | | | went to the hospital. What happened? |
| confirmed there was a lump and advised a | | | | Ju: I went to the Specialists' Centre. After the surgeon |
| lumpectomy. So, I went in the morning to have the | | | | examined me, he said, "Oh, very simple. Only the |
| lump removed. It was a 4 - 5 cm tumor. Two weeks | | | | operation. Just come in the morning and in the |
| later, the doctor confirmed that it was cancer and I | | | | afternoon, you can go back." He scheduled it for a |
| was asked to go for a mastectomy. I refused | | | | week later. |
| mastectomy. The first thought that came to her mind | | | | Q: Were you ready for the lumpectomy? |
| was: "Who is going to take care of my six-year old | | | | Ju: Oh yes! Once I made up my mind, that's it. |
| boy?" To most people, cancer is a death sentence. | | | | Q: So you wanted to get rid of it? |
| Q: Why didn't you want to remove the whole breast? | | | | Ju: Yes. |
| Ju: Because I always believe in natural healing. I believe | | | | Q: When did you break the news to your family? |
| that our body can heal by itself, if given a chance to | | | | Ju: After the lumpectomy -- after the lab results came |
| do so. That was one of the main reasons. I also | | | | back. I went to see the surgeon again with my |
| believe strongly in going back to nature even before | | | | husband and my son. My son was running around -- I |
| my diagnosis. | | | | can still remember that. The doctor did not stage my |
| Q: Then, why did you go for the lumpectomy? | | | | cancer, except that it was a very early stage. But he |
| Ju: I thought that something that is not supposed to be | | | | told me this: "If you do your mastectomy, I guarantee |
| there, better to remove it. | | | | you that you will be cancer-free." But I did not believe |
| Q: So it is okay to remove a lump? | | | | him. I am very skeptical about things. I did not go back |
| Ju: (Nodded in agreement). | | | | to see him anymore. I realized that it was only I, myself |
| Q: But to remove breast? | | | | who could take care of my well-being. |
| Ju: No. | | | | Q: This lumpectomy -- was it a family decision or your |
| Q: Apart from believing in nature, is losing a breast | | | | own? |
| something that you do not want to happen? How | | | | Ju: I made up my own mind. |
| would you feel as a lady? | | | | Q: Did he suggest any other treatment? |
| Ju: I believe that our body is not permanent. Our body | | | | Ju: No. He said that a mastectomy was good enough |
| is only for us to use temporarily for a good cause. So, I | | | | for me. |
| am not very attached to any part of my body. And I | | | | Q: How do you find your doctor? Was he an |
| have a very good husband who said that whatever I | | | | understanding person? Was he nice to you? |
| wanted to do, I should just go ahead. He supported my | | | | Ju: Yes. He did not pressure me. He just did his job. |
| decisions. And for me, any decision I make, it is my life. | | | | Q: Was he fair to you? |
| Q: So, you don't mind losing a part of your breast? | | | | Ju: Yes. I voiced out what I felt and he did not react |
| Removing a breast is okay? | | | | negatively. |
| Ju: Yes, but at that point of time, I said no. I felt that a | | | | Comments |
| lumpectomy had just been done. My body had hardly | | | | The Cartesian Medicine treats the human body as a |
| recovered fully and you want me to go for a | | | | machine devoid of mind and soul. Doctors pronounce |
| mastectomy? That was one of the reasons why I | | | | the diagnosis in a matter-of-fact matter and the |
| was not for it. | | | | removal of women's breasts is nothing more than a |
| Q: So, it is not so much of "my breast is precious" and I | | | | routine procedure. Patients react to doctors' diagnosis |
| do not wanting to lose the breast? | | | | and prognosis with great emotional pains and distress. |
| Ju: I never felt like that at all. | | | | Ju "really cried" and let it all out -- this is something we |
| Q: You mentioned that you believe that natural healing | | | | encourage patients to do. |
| is the best. Did you grow up with this kind of thought? | | | | How a person reacts to an initial cancer diagnosis |
| Was it because of your family? Or something that you | | | | varies from one individual to another. Some even try to |
| had learned or was exposed to? | | | | deny it. Others try to find scapegoats but in Ju's case |
| Ju: I believe in the way and life of Buddha's teaching. | | | | "whatever has to happen has to happen." She did not |
| We are all part of nature. I believe in karma too. | | | | wallow in self-pity or indulge in a blaming game. Her |
| Whatever has to happen has to happen. And it my | | | | attitude was, since it has already happened, what then |
| case, it had already happened. So, let it be. The | | | | is the next step to move forward. |
| important thing is to live. If I could, my aim was to have | | | | Religious beliefs play significant roles in helping patients |
| a life and hope to see my son grow up. I started to | | | | to cope with their cancer diagnosis. Ju showed her |
| read books. I learnt that there was no guarantee of a | | | | Spiritual maturity when faced with the greatest |
| cure, irrespective of whether I do a mastectomy or a | | | | problem of her life. In her case, the teachings of |
| lumpectomy. There is no difference. | | | | Buddha had helped her and made her realized that her |
| Q: When you were told that you had cancer, how did | | | | body is not permanent and is only for her to use |
| you take the news? | | | | temporarily for a good cause. Indeed, if many of us |
| Ju: When I went back home, I was with my family. So, | | | | can appreciate this "truth", our world will be a great and |
| we sat down. My husband, my sister and all, and I | | | | harmonious place to live in. |