Living in the Gutter - Why Change is So Challenging

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on everyreason why "positive thinking"-type efforts seldom
wave, find your eternity in each moment." - Henryproduce true, lasting change and transformation. The
David Thoreaumind alone cannot "open" it's own closed system.
Daily we're bombarded with new books, news, andThink of the moment you wake up. That split moment.
research about why folks behave irrationally - evenWhen perhaps you hear the birds communing, or
when they "know" their behavior is not rational, whynotice the sky, or hear the rain, or really smell the
affirmations don't lead to change, why change is socoffee - that split moment before "thinking" kicks in.
difficult when the brain is supposed to be so "plastic,"That's the place where true change and
etc. Why is true and lasting change and transformationtransformation takes place. That's the place where we
so challenging? Here's one perspective. See how itare an "open system." Here we are not conditioned by
works for you.past experiences. We are completely present to our
Visualize the "gutter", the ball return "groove," next to aexperience, right here and right now. No brain to
bowling alley. Assume at one time it was completelyinterrupt, to interpret, to link our present moment to
flat. Visualize that, with guide barriers on either side topast experience. Once "thinking "begins, almost all
keep it in a straight line on the flat surface, the ball(change) bets are off.
moves from the far end of the alley to the near endAs soon as we allow this moment to become
where it returns to a ball-holding area. Over minutes,influenced by memory, conditioning, and past
hours, days, weeks, months, and years, depending onexperience we slide right into the old "grooves" and
the frequency and intensity of each individual ball returnare taken over by past perceptions, judgments,
action, see the ball begin to carve out its ownthoughts, beliefs, etc. - back to the old ways of "I am
pathway, no longer needing any guide barriers tothis" and "I am that." We futurize our past. Our history
control it. The ball now follows it's own self-createdtake over. Our present is experienced through our
pathway - day in and day out, night in and night out,past. We are clinging.
over and over, with never a change in direction. TheAs soon as we begin "thinking," then all the old feeling
ball seemingly has a mind of its own.and emotional patterns related to our thoughts also
Think of the initial guide barriers on either side of thearise. The clinging process is mental, cellular, neuronal,
"groove" as your parents or primary caregivers, youremotional, psychological and physiological as all our old
siblings, relatives, playmates, teachers, clergy, etc. -patterns, urges, needs and desires arise, often
those who "guided" you from infancy to about the ageunconsciously - just as the ball habitually returns to its
of seven.starting place. Clinging that reinforces our
And think of that "groove" as the neurologicalclosed-system inner reality, our old, habitual self.
pathways, neurons, and synapses in your "mind" and"They always say time changes things, but you
your brain - each representing an "habitual ways" ofactually have to change them yourself." - Andy Warhol
doing, be-ing, and thinking (i.e., self-image, self-concept,Clinging is the basis of resistance to change. Clinging is
and other personal and world related assumptions,a survival strategy that emanates from deep, deep
premises, expectations, worldviews, beliefs, etc.).down in our core. In every "new" situation, we keep
So, now, even with all the neuroscience research"re-birthing" our old, fixed self and in the process our
touting "brain plasticity," and popular books annotatingfamiliar, protective ways of defending our old, familiar,
how irrational we are in spite of our protestations toresistant self also arise. This process is our "way of
the contrary, etc. we have a glimpse of why manylife."
folks cannot or will not change.A process that leads one to a conscious, deeper
"All appears to change when we change." -awareness of these dynamics, a process that
Henri-Frédéric Amielsupports one to move into presence (where identity
In order for true, real and lasting change to occur, onewith "grooves' is non-existent), where there is no need
of two things has to happen: (1) we have "sand-paper"to defend, where there is no attachment to "I am this"
down the original grooves and/or (2) create newor "I am that" is one possible way to experience true
grooves representing new ways of do-ing, be-ing,and real shift and change. The "mind" alone cannot
thinking. Either way, both of these tasks requirefoster such change and that's one reason we read so
concerted time and effort. And here is whymany examples of "irrationality."
"recidivism" of a sort haunts most folks who wantThe challenge is to choose to move away from
change."things mental and rational" into "things spiritual" (not
What prevents most folks from carving out newreligious or theological, but spiritual) where we shift
grooves is that they're wired to hang on to their originalfrom identification and the need to proliferate our
groves. They are "clinging."conditioned self, but towards an attunement to our self
Most folks live in a "closed system" - a loyalty to ouras we are in that moment when we wake up, in that
own internal reality - resistant to change. We becomepresent-time experience, before "I"/"me" kicks in.
in the present what we became in the past. In BuddhistTrue and lasting change is an eminent possibility. But it
terms, we are attached to this inner reality, constantlytakes time, consciousness, striving, honesty,
reconditioning to itself. The brain also continuallysteadfastness, courage, strength, will and lots of love
generates this closed internal representation of ourand compassion for one's self - qualities that for many
outer world, seeing and relating to it the same way,in our culture seem to be in short supply.
over and over again, even if, IN REALITY, the outerWe can smooth out our old grooves, the "gutter" of
world is changing. We are stuck in our "grooves." It's anour past, the "irrationality," and create new grooves -
emotional and psychological necessity, survival, for usbut just not by 9:00 tomorrow morning - a sad
to keep it the same. "I am this" and "my world isrealization for many enmeshed in our
such-and-such."microwave-oriented, Twitter-connected, 15-second
This orientation to our world is how we were assound-bite, seeking-immediate-gratification culture.
infants, then children, then as adolescents and now as"It's not that some people have willpower and some
adults. We are our earliest "grooves" even as adults.don't. It's that some people are ready to change and
The good news is that this "stability" helped us surviveothers are not." - James Gordon, M.D.
and make sense of our world as infants and children.So, some questions for self-reflection are:
The bad news is that it locks us into seeing andOn a scale of 1-10, what number describes your
reacting to our world and experiences in similar waysgeneral feeling of impatience?
over time, i.e, we are hardwired to be resistant toDo you ever reflect on how you came to be who you
change.are, what you think or why you act the way you do?
The key to true and lasting change, from theIf so, what do you see about yourself? If not, are you
perspective of some psychotherapists, and from acurious as to why not?
Buddhist perspective, for example, is to open theDo you feel enslaved by your electronic life? Is this by
closed system in such a way that we do not view ourchoice?
self as a calcified, reified structure but rather as aWhat "old grooves" would you like to sand down and
"process" - often why many folks who do deepeliminate? What new groove would you like to create?
personal work say they are "works in progress," notAre there obstacles that prevent you from doing
as an "entity" or "thing." They no longer need to say "Ieither, or both? How so?
am this" or "I am that" but see themselves simply asDo you ever behave "irrationally" - do-ing or be-ing in
"being" (in the process of sandpapering down the oldways you know you shouldn't? If so, why?
grooves, and loosening the hard, rigid identification withWhat of your past do you cling on to? Why?
one's self, i.e., "who I think I am" or "who I take myselfCan you envision a world where you feel free in most
to be.") and creating new grooves.every moment, where you can let go of notions of
An important point here is that such change mosthow you "should" be and dis-identify with "I am this" or
often cannot be done through the mind, i.e., "cognitive""I am that?," where you're not a fixed entity but a
efforts, alone. True change needs to be processedprocess?
through a conscious mind-body-spirit process - one