| Pain exists to promote evolution. Its cumulative effect | | | | pay for our attachments. |
| finally forces us in a new direction, although the | | | | The attachments can be beliefs about the right and |
| mechanism may be very slow. So how many times is | | | | wrong way of doing things, rules, ideas, points of view, |
| it necessary to hit the bottom before a lesson is | | | | status, and identity just to name a few. |
| learnt? | | | | Letting go of suffering |
| Pain and suffering are very distinctive experiences in | | | | Suffering can be your invitation to observe, witness, |
| everyone's development. However there is a very | | | | detach and let go of your attachments, should you |
| significant difference between pain and suffering | | | | wish that. |
| which, once understood, will transform your life. | | | | If you truly desire to live a life free of suffering start |
| Pain | | | | with this process: |
| Let me explain: Pain is the sensation or signal in the | | | | 1. Awareness:become aware of painful situations and |
| body that some event or experience is not in | | | | what usually follows. You can think about situations |
| alignment with one's value system. If, for example, your | | | | that happened in the recent past to train your |
| partner shouts at you and you immediately feel pain in | | | | awareness ant attention for future events. |
| form of hurt, disappointment, sadness or even anger it | | | | 2. Perceptual Position:step back from the situation that |
| is a sign of a breach of your unconscious values and | | | | you were in and take an observer position. Replay the |
| criteria around how you want to be treated in a | | | | situation and watch what happened after the initial pain |
| relationship. | | | | subsided.a. How and when did the suffering start?b. |
| Suffering | | | | What thoughts run through your mind?c. What beliefs |
| Suffering follows when we then continue to run the | | | | do you hold about that situation and the other |
| argument in our heads, reason with ourselves about | | | | person?d. What rules were broken according to your |
| what her or she said and what we said and where | | | | belief system?e. What accusations were made, |
| things went wrong or who acted with injustice or | | | | spoken or unspoken? |
| against the rules. | | | | 3. Question the source of the Suffering: can I |
| The initial pain has long gone. What is left is the | | | | absolutely know this thought/belief/rule to be true? |
| self-inflicted pain in our mind which is, in Buddhist terms, | | | | 4. Drop and let go: Who would I be, what would I feel, if |
| referred to as suffering. | | | | I did not have that thought/belief/rule? Imagine dropping |
| Attachment | | | | those thoughts and experience yourself without the |
| Do you remember a situation where after the initial | | | | cause of suffering. |
| pain was gone and you entered the suffering, suddenly | | | | Few people know what it is to truly live without fear, |
| something or someone needed your absolute fullest | | | | rules, and beliefs - but beyond that lies joy, as the |
| attention and your suffering was gone for these | | | | meaning and purpose of existence becomes |
| moments? Suffering is optional; it is only the price we | | | | transparent. |