| Let's talk about the "C" word. | | | | superiority? |
| And let's not hold back, no conservative restraints, no | | | | How about the "C" word? |
| bleeding heart Hallmark card like bombastic drivel; just | | | | The roots of the word compassion, com- "together or |
| plain honest talk. | | | | with" + pati "to suffer" give us a possible interpretation |
| No I have not changed the flavor of The You | | | | of "suffering together or with another." |
| Revolution I'm just having some fun. The "C" word I'm | | | | Pema Chodron is a fully ordained Buddhist nun. The |
| referring to here is Compassion. | | | | goal of her work is to apply Buddhist teachings in |
| What comes to mind when you hear that word? Do | | | | everyday life. She is irreverent and her messages are |
| you see the sad faces of children who suffer with | | | | relevant for 21st century life. Tricycle magazine |
| poverty and disease? Is it homeless, rail-thin, animals | | | | interviewed her after her book, Start Where You Are, |
| that float across your gray matter? We all have the | | | | A Guide To Compassionate Living came out. They |
| capacity for compassion. | | | | asked her what cultivates genuine compassion. I love |
| Do you include yourself when you think compassion? | | | | her answer. |
| Are there pictures of all the people you come in | | | | "Genuine compassion comes from the fact that you |
| contact with daily? Yes, even those who most annoy | | | | see your own limitations: you wish to be kind and you |
| you or serve to bring up feelings of outrage. I see you | | | | find that you aren't kind. Then, instead of beating |
| wincing so let's make a few assumptions to support | | | | yourself up you see that that's what all human beings |
| the possibility of their inclusion. | | | | are up against and you begin to have some kind of |
| First of all, I assume, that you are a human being | | | | genuine compassion for the human condition. And you |
| experiencing all of the challenges that presents in | | | | see how challenging it is to be a human being." |
| terms of patience, openness, fluctuating hormones and | | | | Challenging? Oh yea, and let me be the first to come |
| energy, and the drives to survive and thrive. Next, | | | | clean. I have at least 4 billion thoughts a day that would |
| most likely, you are acting out your role in a way that | | | | send me to hell instantly if it worked that way. Feelings |
| you learned to by watching others, reinforced by what | | | | of frustration, prejudice, and resentment alternate and |
| has worked in the past. | | | | it's usually because of "one of them." |
| Based on those assumptions here's a news brief: | | | | No big deal I've learned because feelings happen. |
| You are at all times doing your best even if you don't | | | | What I/we do with those feelings is the big deal. |
| feel you are. | | | | Feeling the pain in a situation but not giving this pain out |
| So far so good. This being human stuff gets tricky | | | | in the form of criticism or sarcasm is practicing |
| when we think of ourselves as different than the | | | | compassion. In the minute it takes to breathe in and out |
| others who share this time in time. | | | | and think about what's come up, why we see the |
| It's a popular idea these days that we are all | | | | other as wrong or bad, is all it takes to remember to |
| connected; we are all one. Globalization has made it | | | | "feel with, to suffer with." And oh how quickly the roles |
| easier to see how this could be so in a macro way. | | | | can be reversed. It's all a matter or perspective no? |
| Imagining that we are all human with the same | | | | Pema Chodron's interpretation of the Buddhist concept |
| struggles inherent in that brings it down to a micro level. | | | | of suffering is not that something happens to us but |
| Connected though we may be some will desire to be | | | | that we tend to make matters worse with our |
| separate because they see cultural differences and | | | | thoughts. |
| not our similarities. | | | | This is taken from a transcript which can be found at |
| The ego's job is to protect us and sometimes that | | | | her website. "...think of the root of suffering as this |
| means finding someone or something to blame for | | | | tendency to make matters worse, this tendency to |
| what we don't like or see as wrong. History, our | | | | buy into the same old story lines and the same old |
| country's present history included, supports my | | | | blaming and the same old resentment mind, bitter mind, |
| statement. | | | | judgmental mind, self-pitying mind, whatever it might be. |
| As smart mid-lifers we know that blaming gets us | | | | The tendency to make matters worse being the root |
| nowhere and making others wrong is a cop out and | | | | of suffering. Because, as I say, even if what your |
| quite often leads to long, ugly conflicts. | | | | suffering is is that you have a genuine great loss, the |
| Am I saying you should suffer fools gladly? Uh, yeah | | | | root of it turning into debilitating suffering is what we do |
| more or less. I'm not espousing doormat-ism or | | | | with that, how we spin off from that. Am I making this |
| lobotomy to make "be and let be" with those others | | | | clear?" |
| easier. | | | | Loud and clear. And that's what I'll be reminding myself |
| Just a bit of perspective might do. | | | | when I'm feeling like I didn't do enough or I get PO'd at |
| What would it take to accept that we are all the | | | | some "other" for some fabricated difference. I'll |
| same, bumbling along on the human journey, all of us | | | | practice the "C" word and remind myself that I'm the |
| suffering the dueling feelings of inadequacy and | | | | smartest person in the world next to you. |