| Do you feel nervous when you meet new people? | | | | yourself before you've accomplished your task). |
| Maybe it even makes you feel nervous to be around | | | | These simple rules apply to any social situation. |
| people whom you've known for a long time. | | | | After the situation has been completed, you should |
| Regardless, if you suffer from anxiety in social | | | | identify what you have learned from the exercise. |
| situations, then here are a few steps that you can | | | | Likely, you learned that you can make eye contact |
| take to help yourself feel better. | | | | with somebody and smile, and that nothing bad or |
| First, identify what you are afraid might happen in | | | | terribly wrong has to happen. In fact, you have likely |
| social situations. For example, are you afraid that you | | | | learned that this task was easy enough to do on a |
| will embarrass yourself? Say something inappropriate? | | | | regular basis and would be easier with each practice. |
| Have nothing to say? | | | | Once you have learned that you can have success in |
| Next, identify a social situation that has very little risk of | | | | a social situation, continue to practice that situation. |
| confirming your identified fears, along with the | | | | When you realize that you have mastered a particular |
| potentially positive outcomes. For example, you might | | | | situation and you no longer feel much anxiety in it, you |
| consider saying "hello" to the grocery store cashier. | | | | should continue to gradually face increasingly more |
| The worst outcome might be that he/she doesn't | | | | intimidating situations. Always start with the easiest and |
| return your "hello" or scowls at you. It is very unlikely | | | | work your way up. |
| that anything worse might happen. On the flip side, it | | | | Finally, if you had a great deal of difficulty doing the |
| might be that the cashier smiles and returns your | | | | above exercise, then there are a couple of things to |
| "hello". In fact, it might even be more likely that the | | | | consider. Did you start with a situation that was so |
| cashier would do this than your feared outcomes. | | | | intimidating that you couldn't follow through with it? If so, |
| The next step is to face that situation. You should fill | | | | reconsider starting with an easier task - it should be |
| your mind with positive, encouraging words, such as, "I | | | | one in which you feel only a little bit afraid of doing, or |
| can do this. Many people do this every day. I want to | | | | at least one that you believe has a relatively good |
| do this." Also remind yourself that there is a high | | | | chance for a positive outcome. If, however, you cannot |
| likelihood that you will have a good outcome in the | | | | imagine any scenario that might have a chance for a |
| situation (e.g., that the cashier will smile and return your | | | | positive outcome, then it would be helpful for you to |
| "hello"). When you are in the situation, your only task is | | | | have a professional who can assist you in overcoming |
| to do a few simple things: make eye contact, smile, | | | | your fears. It is likely that a professional will take similar |
| focus on the other person (rather than on your fears) | | | | steps as those outlined above, but it can often be |
| and push yourself to be successful in the situation | | | | comforting to have another person who is working |
| (rather than running out of the situation or excusing | | | | alongside you through this process. |