You Have to Show Up: On Small Miracles (Okay, maybe not so small)

I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's funeral.Thateveryone in my family was going to do it wrong. That
sounds terrible, I know. And if I had chosen to focus onit would be a fiasco. That my grudge-holding family, in
the 18 year estrangement of various factions of mythe midst of chaos and tragedy would just pour fresh
family from each other and my own 15 yeargasoline on fires which had been smoldering for 18
estrangement from my uncles (hey, Greeks are ayears and I didn't want any part of it.No, I just wanted
war-like people, what can I say?), I could have pattedto sit in the woods and meditate and not be soiled by
myself on the back for the fact that I had gone to thethe whole thing. Not be irritated. Tempted to jump into
wake and let it go at that.But if you knew the littlestthe fray. Resurrect my Greek Evil Eye.You have to
thing about me, you would know that I recognize anshow up (you big weenie).The truth is I did know how
inner dragon when I see one. And, once I see one, Ito show up. Sure, there is something familiar about
have to slay it. It's a sacred covenant I have withbeing pissed at my family. It's just so easy. And, face it,
myself.And, should I get tempted to walk away from aanger is energizing. Gossip has a certain seduction to it.
soul-defining battle, I have some very powerful peopleThere's momentum. Criticism is so easy.But love is
watching my back. Powerful people who won't let memore powerful.Yes, it's a harder place to hold. It takes
slack off. Powerful people who say just what I needwork. It takes a conscious conviction to stand for love
to hear to remind me of how powerful love is and thewhen there are so many temptations to blame, to
miracles that can unfold when we Show Up.Tojudge, to criticize. It's easier to walk away.It's easy to
prepare to attend the wake, I visited with my dearwalk away until you realize that your very integrity is
friend and spiritual Rock of Gibraltar, Mike Schwass, (on the line. I'm either walking the talk or I'm not. I'm either
He shared with me some of the last conversation headding to the love or I'm adding to the pain. I'm either
had with his dear friend, Blackhawk's Keith Magnusoncriticizing or educating.You have to show up. Just your
a month before he died.You have to show up. Justpresence can be so powerful. You have to show up.I
your presence can be so powerful. You have to showshowed up.I'm here to tell you that my 15 year
up.Mike has a way of planting seeds in my head thatestrangement from my uncles has ended. We talked.
grow...and grow...and grow. Guru-types are like that.ThisAnd hugged. And the one that was most difficult to
brought me to a lesson from an anonymous reader atreach, who has been estranged from the entire family
my blog this week:You can criticize or you canfor 18 years accepted an invitation to come to my
educate."Anonymous reader" chose to criticize myhome next weekend. He even came out to the
falling prey to a pervasive myth on Chinese calligraphyparking lot as I was about to drive away to make sure
interpretation but never gave the slightest clue to how II knew the best route home.My uncle's laughter is one
could correct my path. All I got was, "sorry, you areof my favorite sounds of all time. It's brilliant and silly
wrong, seeya."Thankfully I am naturally inquisitive, so Iand mischievous and infectious. It is the sound of
was inspired to do research and enjoyed learningeverything that was ever right and good in my family.
more. However, I could just as easily been hurt,And next weekend, his laughter will fill my home.Laura
embarrassed and defensive at being publiclyYoung is a personal development and business coach.
defrocked as my unwitting blunder was exposed toShe is a contributing author to A Guide to Getting It:
my readers.But since I also believe everyone is aPurpose and Passion and Become Your Own Great
Buddha here to teach me something I paid attention toand Powerful: A Woman's Guide to Leading a Real,
what was really happening here.You can criticize orBig Life. She has recently been featured on By, For
you can educate.The biggest reason I was going toand About Women and Artists First Radio.
avoid the funeral was due to my own belief that