| I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's funeral.That | | | | everyone in my family was going to do it wrong. That |
| sounds terrible, I know. And if I had chosen to focus on | | | | it would be a fiasco. That my grudge-holding family, in |
| the 18 year estrangement of various factions of my | | | | the midst of chaos and tragedy would just pour fresh |
| family from each other and my own 15 year | | | | gasoline on fires which had been smoldering for 18 |
| estrangement from my uncles (hey, Greeks are a | | | | years and I didn't want any part of it.No, I just wanted |
| war-like people, what can I say?), I could have patted | | | | to sit in the woods and meditate and not be soiled by |
| myself on the back for the fact that I had gone to the | | | | the whole thing. Not be irritated. Tempted to jump into |
| wake and let it go at that.But if you knew the littlest | | | | the fray. Resurrect my Greek Evil Eye.You have to |
| thing about me, you would know that I recognize an | | | | show up (you big weenie).The truth is I did know how |
| inner dragon when I see one. And, once I see one, I | | | | to show up. Sure, there is something familiar about |
| have to slay it. It's a sacred covenant I have with | | | | being pissed at my family. It's just so easy. And, face it, |
| myself.And, should I get tempted to walk away from a | | | | anger is energizing. Gossip has a certain seduction to it. |
| soul-defining battle, I have some very powerful people | | | | There's momentum. Criticism is so easy.But love is |
| watching my back. Powerful people who won't let me | | | | more powerful.Yes, it's a harder place to hold. It takes |
| slack off. Powerful people who say just what I need | | | | work. It takes a conscious conviction to stand for love |
| to hear to remind me of how powerful love is and the | | | | when there are so many temptations to blame, to |
| miracles that can unfold when we Show Up.To | | | | judge, to criticize. It's easier to walk away.It's easy to |
| prepare to attend the wake, I visited with my dear | | | | walk away until you realize that your very integrity is |
| friend and spiritual Rock of Gibraltar, Mike Schwass, ( | | | | on the line. I'm either walking the talk or I'm not. I'm either |
| He shared with me some of the last conversation he | | | | adding to the love or I'm adding to the pain. I'm either |
| had with his dear friend, Blackhawk's Keith Magnuson | | | | criticizing or educating.You have to show up. Just your |
| a month before he died.You have to show up. Just | | | | presence can be so powerful. You have to show up.I |
| your presence can be so powerful. You have to show | | | | showed up.I'm here to tell you that my 15 year |
| up.Mike has a way of planting seeds in my head that | | | | estrangement from my uncles has ended. We talked. |
| grow...and grow...and grow. Guru-types are like that.This | | | | And hugged. And the one that was most difficult to |
| brought me to a lesson from an anonymous reader at | | | | reach, who has been estranged from the entire family |
| my blog this week:You can criticize or you can | | | | for 18 years accepted an invitation to come to my |
| educate."Anonymous reader" chose to criticize my | | | | home next weekend. He even came out to the |
| falling prey to a pervasive myth on Chinese calligraphy | | | | parking lot as I was about to drive away to make sure |
| interpretation but never gave the slightest clue to how I | | | | I knew the best route home.My uncle's laughter is one |
| could correct my path. All I got was, "sorry, you are | | | | of my favorite sounds of all time. It's brilliant and silly |
| wrong, seeya."Thankfully I am naturally inquisitive, so I | | | | and mischievous and infectious. It is the sound of |
| was inspired to do research and enjoyed learning | | | | everything that was ever right and good in my family. |
| more. However, I could just as easily been hurt, | | | | And next weekend, his laughter will fill my home.Laura |
| embarrassed and defensive at being publicly | | | | Young is a personal development and business coach. |
| defrocked as my unwitting blunder was exposed to | | | | She is a contributing author to A Guide to Getting It: |
| my readers.But since I also believe everyone is a | | | | Purpose and Passion and Become Your Own Great |
| Buddha here to teach me something I paid attention to | | | | and Powerful: A Woman's Guide to Leading a Real, |
| what was really happening here.You can criticize or | | | | Big Life. She has recently been featured on By, For |
| you can educate.The biggest reason I was going to | | | | and About Women and Artists First Radio. |
| avoid the funeral was due to my own belief that | | | | |