| I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's | | | | wrong. That it would be a fiasco. That my |
| funeral.That sounds terrible, I know. And if | | | | grudge-holding family, in the midst of chaos |
| I had chosen to focus on the 18 year | | | | and tragedy would just pour fresh gasoline on |
| estrangement of various factions of my family | | | | fires which had been smoldering for 18 years |
| from each other and my own 15 year | | | | and I didn't want any part of it.No, I just |
| estrangement from my uncles (hey, Greeks are | | | | wanted to sit in the woods and meditate and |
| a war-like people, what can I say?), I could | | | | not be soiled by the whole thing. Not be |
| have patted myself on the back for the fact | | | | irritated. Tempted to jump into the fray. |
| that I had gone to the wake and let it go at | | | | Resurrect my Greek Evil Eye.You have to show |
| that.But if you knew the littlest thing about | | | | up (you big weenie).The truth is I did know |
| me, you would know that I recognize an inner | | | | how to show up. Sure, there is something |
| dragon when I see one. And, once I see one, I | | | | familiar about being pissed at my family. |
| have to slay it. It's a sacred covenant I | | | | It's just so easy. And, face it, anger is |
| have with myself.And, should I get tempted to | | | | energizing. Gossip has a certain seduction to |
| walk away from a soul-defining battle, I have | | | | it. There's momentum. Criticism is so |
| some very powerful people watching my back. | | | | easy.But love is more powerful.Yes, it's a |
| Powerful people who won't let me slack off. | | | | harder place to hold. It takes work. It takes |
| Powerful people who say just what I need to | | | | a conscious conviction to stand for love when |
| hear to remind me of how powerful love is and | | | | there are so many temptations to blame, to |
| the miracles that can unfold when we Show | | | | judge, to criticize. It's easier to walk |
| Up.To prepare to attend the wake, I visited | | | | away.It's easy to walk away until you realize |
| with my dear friend and spiritual Rock of | | | | that your very integrity is on the line. I'm |
| Gibraltar, Mike Schwass, ( He shared with me | | | | either walking the talk or I'm not. I'm |
| some of the last conversation he had with his | | | | either adding to the love or I'm adding to |
| dear friend, Blackhawk's Keith Magnuson a | | | | the pain. I'm either criticizing or |
| month before he died.You have to show up. | | | | educating.You have to show up. Just your |
| Just your presence can be so powerful. You | | | | presence can be so powerful. You have to show |
| have to show up.Mike has a way of planting | | | | up.I showed up.I'm here to tell you that my |
| seeds in my head that grow...and grow...and | | | | 15 year estrangement from my uncles has |
| grow. Guru-types are like that.This brought | | | | ended. We talked. And hugged. And the one |
| me to a lesson from an anonymous reader at my | | | | that was most difficult to reach, who has |
| blog this week:You can criticize or you can | | | | been estranged from the entire family for 18 |
| educate."Anonymous reader" chose to criticize | | | | years accepted an invitation to come to my |
| my falling prey to a pervasive myth on | | | | home next weekend. He even came out to the |
| Chinese calligraphy interpretation but never | | | | parking lot as I was about to drive away to |
| gave the slightest clue to how I could | | | | make sure I knew the best route home.My |
| correct my path. All I got was, "sorry, you | | | | uncle's laughter is one of my favorite sounds |
| are wrong, seeya."Thankfully I am naturally | | | | of all time. It's brilliant and silly and |
| inquisitive, so I was inspired to do research | | | | mischievous and infectious. It is the sound |
| and enjoyed learning more. However, I could | | | | of everything that was ever right and good in |
| just as easily been hurt, embarrassed and | | | | my family. And next weekend, his laughter |
| defensive at being publicly defrocked as my | | | | will fill my home.Laura Young is a personal |
| unwitting blunder was exposed to my | | | | development and business coach. She is a |
| readers.But since I also believe everyone is | | | | contributing author to A Guide to Getting It: |
| a Buddha here to teach me something I paid | | | | Purpose and Passion and Become Your Own Great |
| attention to what was really happening | | | | and Powerful: A Woman's Guide to Leading a |
| here.You can criticize or you can educate.The | | | | Real, Big Life. She has recently been |
| biggest reason I was going to avoid the | | | | featured on By, For and About Women and |
| funeral was due to my own belief that | | | | Artists First Radio. |
| everyone in my family was going to do it | | | | |