| When I was in Junior High, I wanted to ask a | | | | |
| girl named Ginger to go with me to the school | | | | All this came back to me as I listened to a |
| dance. Not only was it the first "boy/ girl" | | | | presentation on Buddhism by Bob Thurman. |
| dance of the year, for many of us it was the | | | | Thurman is the first American ever to be |
| first "boy/girl" dance of our lives. When I | | | | ordained a Tibetan Monk. He made a passing |
| finally worked up the courage to ask Ginger, | | | | statement which continues to sing in my ears: |
| she responded to my invitation with a, | | | | |
| "Maybe." I didn't know what to do. I wanted | | | | "When visiting a village, Buddha always |
| very much to go. Everyone I knew was making | | | | accepted the first invitation he received." |
| plans - whose parents would drive, where | | | | |
| they'd go before and after, all the important | | | | It is a remarkable observation -- instructive |
| stuff-- while I, sat with a handful of | | | | in its simplicity and profound in its |
| Ginger's "Maybe." I will forever believe she | | | | implication. What would life be like if we |
| was waiting for a better offer to come her | | | | accepted the first invitation to come our |
| way. Apparently it did not, because she | | | | way? What adventures would be ours? How much |
| finally called me to say "Yes." By the time | | | | more fun would the dance be? |
| she did, my interest in the dance and her had | | | | |
| pretty much evaporated. I remember going and | | | | That Buddha did so is of no surprise. It |
| disliking every minute. The experience had a | | | | makes little sense to allow life to be |
| profound effect on me. | | | | interrupted by a "tentative" response. An |
| | | | eager "yes" is far more fitting and |
| Microsoft Outlook has a helpful scheduling | | | | fulfilling than a hesitant "maybe." Sure, |
| feature. It allows meetings to be scheduled | | | | there is room for reason and care in decision |
| and invitations to be automatically sent to | | | | making, but there also space for instinctual |
| people. Those invited have the option of | | | | response. Waiting for more information, a |
| accepting, declining, or tentatively | | | | "better" opportunity, or a higher level of |
| accepting. When someone responds with a | | | | certainty, can spoil a moment of spontaneous |
| "tentative acceptance," I think of Ginger and | | | | opportunity with second thoughts and |
| assume that person is simply waiting to see | | | | uncertainty. |
| if something they deem "more important" than | | | | |
| the meeting comes along. I wish people would | | | | Today is a good day to say "Yes," to the |
| just say, "NO!" | | | | first invitation to come your way... |