The Favor of Reply is Requested

When I was in Junior High, I wanted to ask a girlwould just say, "NO!"
named Ginger to go with me to the school dance. NotAll this came back to me as I listened to a presentation
only was it the first "boy/ girl" dance of the year, foron Buddhism by Bob Thurman. Thurman is the first
many of us it was the first "boy/girl" dance of our lives.American ever to be ordained a Tibetan Monk. He
When I finally worked up the courage to ask Ginger,made a passing statement which continues to sing in
she responded to my invitation with a, "Maybe." I didn'tmy ears:
know what to do. I wanted very much to go."When visiting a village, Buddha always accepted the
Everyone I knew was making plans - whose parentsfirst invitation he received."
would drive, where they'd go before and after, all theIt is a remarkable observation -- instructive in its
important stuff-- while I, sat with a handful of Ginger'ssimplicity and profound in its implication. What would life
"Maybe." I will forever believe she was waiting for abe like if we accepted the first invitation to come our
better offer to come her way. Apparently it did not,way? What adventures would be ours? How much
because she finally called me to say "Yes." By themore fun would the dance be?
time she did, my interest in the dance and her hadThat Buddha did so is of no surprise. It makes little
pretty much evaporated. I remember going and dislikingsense to allow life to be interrupted by a "tentative"
every minute. The experience had a profound effectresponse. An eager "yes" is far more fitting and fulfilling
on me.than a hesitant "maybe." Sure, there is room for
Microsoft Outlook has a helpful scheduling feature. Itreason and care in decision making, but there also
allows meetings to be scheduled and invitations to bespace for instinctual response. Waiting for more
automatically sent to people. Those invited have theinformation, a "better" opportunity, or a higher level of
option of accepting, declining, or tentatively accepting.certainty, can spoil a moment of spontaneous
When someone responds with a "tentativeopportunity with second thoughts and uncertainty.
acceptance," I think of Ginger and assume that personToday is a good day to say "Yes," to the first invitation
is simply waiting to see if something they deem "moreto come your way...
important" than the meeting comes along. I wish people