| When I was in Junior High, I wanted to ask a girl | | | | would just say, "NO!" |
| named Ginger to go with me to the school dance. Not | | | | All this came back to me as I listened to a presentation |
| only was it the first "boy/ girl" dance of the year, for | | | | on Buddhism by Bob Thurman. Thurman is the first |
| many of us it was the first "boy/girl" dance of our lives. | | | | American ever to be ordained a Tibetan Monk. He |
| When I finally worked up the courage to ask Ginger, | | | | made a passing statement which continues to sing in |
| she responded to my invitation with a, "Maybe." I didn't | | | | my ears: |
| know what to do. I wanted very much to go. | | | | "When visiting a village, Buddha always accepted the |
| Everyone I knew was making plans - whose parents | | | | first invitation he received." |
| would drive, where they'd go before and after, all the | | | | It is a remarkable observation -- instructive in its |
| important stuff-- while I, sat with a handful of Ginger's | | | | simplicity and profound in its implication. What would life |
| "Maybe." I will forever believe she was waiting for a | | | | be like if we accepted the first invitation to come our |
| better offer to come her way. Apparently it did not, | | | | way? What adventures would be ours? How much |
| because she finally called me to say "Yes." By the | | | | more fun would the dance be? |
| time she did, my interest in the dance and her had | | | | That Buddha did so is of no surprise. It makes little |
| pretty much evaporated. I remember going and disliking | | | | sense to allow life to be interrupted by a "tentative" |
| every minute. The experience had a profound effect | | | | response. An eager "yes" is far more fitting and fulfilling |
| on me. | | | | than a hesitant "maybe." Sure, there is room for |
| Microsoft Outlook has a helpful scheduling feature. It | | | | reason and care in decision making, but there also |
| allows meetings to be scheduled and invitations to be | | | | space for instinctual response. Waiting for more |
| automatically sent to people. Those invited have the | | | | information, a "better" opportunity, or a higher level of |
| option of accepting, declining, or tentatively accepting. | | | | certainty, can spoil a moment of spontaneous |
| When someone responds with a "tentative | | | | opportunity with second thoughts and uncertainty. |
| acceptance," I think of Ginger and assume that person | | | | Today is a good day to say "Yes," to the first invitation |
| is simply waiting to see if something they deem "more | | | | to come your way... |
| important" than the meeting comes along. I wish people | | | | |