Discover Tibetan Buddhism


A Pastor s Dirty Little Secret

In the past 14 years I've rubbed shouldersit too late to start over? Try to remember
with more ministers than I can remember. I'vethe vigor and vision with which we entered
talked with ministers of large churches,Bible College. I literally would have become
small churches, and every size in between.a Pastor if they told me I'd never be paid a
I've hung out with black ministers, Hispanicsingle penny. I was sold out. But adding a
ministers, Episcopal ministers, Republicanfew waist sizes has helped me recognize now
ministers, and yes, to my shame, evenwhat I didn't then: 18 year old kids suffer
ministers who are Yankee fans. You name 'em,from what author Warren Bennis calls
I've  probably  picked  up  their  lunch tab."Delusional confidence." We didn't envision
the day when we would have a mortgage
When our conversations move past squarepayment, a car with 182,000 miles on it, and
footage and per capita giving and otherone too many smiles around the dinner table
things that keep God up at night, we slowlythat need braces. Thank God for delusional
let our guard down and begin to talk from theconfidence or we would have bolted to the
heart. Inevitably, that's when a well guardedlocal university mid-semester of our freshman
secret is shared. For most ministers, it's ayear. Nevertheless, and I'm ashamed to admit
secret they've never shared with theirit, but you'd be surprised how many pulpits
colleagues, their churches, and sometimeswould be empty if someone offered ministers a
even their spouses. I know I can count on onejob similar or better in pay than their
hand the people I've shared it with. Untilcurrent  assignment.
now.
Boredom
Regardless of how betrayed my fellow
colleagues in the trenches might feel by meFinally, many a minister gets wanderlust
spilling the beans...I can't hold it in anybecause they have simply gotten tired of the
longer.  I'm  coming  clean."same ole, same ole." One minister confided
in me that he thinks most of those in
Here  it is: sometimes we wish we could quit.ministerial ranks change things in their
churches simply out of boredom. If most
There, I said it. That felt pretty good.ministers are telling the truth, they'll
Ministers, say it with me, "Q-U-I-T. Adios.admit there is more fact to that than they'd
See  ya.  Hasta  la  vista.  Outta  here."like to admit. Now, before you start rolling
up your sleeves to throw stones, think about
I  think  you  get  my  drift.our typical week. Go to office. People.
Problems. Study. Lunch time. More problems.
You want to know what surprises me? EveryMore study. More people. Leave office. Not
time I hear someone tell me they're firing upexactly the job for second-career NASCAR
a resume, I am always struck by how similardrivers. We ministers get into ruts. We get
the reasons are for why they are taking theirbored. We lose energy. We read the church
hand  off  the  plow.openings. On Mondays you'll find us on the
mountaintop ready to tackle the world, but by
Difficult  PeopleFriday at 4:45 p.m. we're cruising Too
often, to our shame, spending time with our
Many ministers say they're tempted to throwCreator becomes another "to do" item on
in the towel or move because of people.Microsoft Outlook. Ultimately, after a few
Problem people to be exact. I remember theyears of hiking back and forth from the
first church I served. After a few months Imountaintop to the valley and back, we ask
was approached by a man who felt called byourselves, "Is this it? Am I wasting my life
God to be my accountability partner...withoutdoing this? Would a move to another church
asking me. He offered to take me out to eatcure this restlessness?" That's not the kind
one day, so I accepted. Little was I preparedof thing you want to hear out of the person
for what was about to happen. Setting downleading the charge, but more often than not
his sandwich he said, "Brian, there are ait's  the  truth.
number of things you are doing wrong, but for
the sake of time I've kept my list to 10." IMy  Strategy  For  Pressing  On
made the mistake of saying, "Start with
number one." Two and a half hours later II'm not sure if this will help, but let me
left with two things--30% less self-esteemshare a few things that have helped me stay
and a really good case for why first cousinsin  the  game  so  far.
should  never  marry.
First, realize that no matter how hard it
Like most ministers, I've regularly felt thegets, it's only going to get harder. That may
sting of difficult people. Looking back onnot be what you wanted to hear, but it's the
some of these situations I've come to onetruth. A mentor of mine once told a gathering
conclusion: in every congregation there areof ministers, "Happiness is to be enjoyed
always 3 or 4 blessed souls that are therelike a sunny day." Meditate on that
because no other organization in town willphrase...it will serve you well in our
put up with them. Yes, I agree that it's hardvocation. Look up the number of times Paul
to overestimate the damage some ministersused military phrases to describe our task.
have done to churches. I own that. I knowRe-read 2 Corinthians and envision how that
I've caused my share of pain. But it's alsoletter was written with hands broken multiple
healthy to acknowledge that many of God'stimes preaching the same gospel we preach.
servants walk with a limp because no-one inWhere in scripture did Jesus promise us a
their congregation had the guts to stand upbalanced, contented, pseudo-Buddhist journey?
to a known troublemaker and protect theirTake comfort in the fact that Jesus expects
leader. It's at those times it becomes easyyou to be faithful to your calling but not
to question whether the price is too high, atderive all your joy and satisfaction from
least  for  me.your  calling.
Those Highly Marketable Bible-College DegreesSecond, make a vow. Almost a decade ago I
picked up a book by a Presbyterian Minister
A while ago I stumbled upon one of thosenamed Eugene Peterson called, Under The
well-known job search web sites. SupposedlyPredictable Plant: An Exploration In
it is the largest in the world...matchingVocational Holiness. The book literally saved
thousands of employers with employeesmy ministry. In it he described how in the
everyday. I was curious so I plugged in mysixth century monks were moving from
education, experience, and the name of themonastery to monastery looking for deeper
mildly prestigious divinity school from whichspiritual communities and greater challenges.
I graduated. Most ministers will understandThings got too tough or shallow...they moved
my elation at clicking the button and readingon. The problem of restlessness became so
a report that pointed me to a long,widespread that St. Benedict added to the
distinguished career at my local Krispymonastic vows of poverty, chastity, and
Krème. When I've talked with colleagues,obedience a fourth: the vow of stability. My
the feeling that is expressed is nothope is that every minister who reads this,
necessarily one of resentment, but of beingregardless of their situation, will place
trapped. Even if they wanted to leave thethemselves  under  St.  Benedict's  tutelage.
ministry, what kind of job could they get?
Could they make what they're making now? IsThat's my story and I'm sticking with it.



1 A B 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84