| In the past 14 years I've rubbed shoulders | | | | it too late to start over? Try to remember |
| with more ministers than I can remember. I've | | | | the vigor and vision with which we entered |
| talked with ministers of large churches, | | | | Bible College. I literally would have become |
| small churches, and every size in between. | | | | a Pastor if they told me I'd never be paid a |
| I've hung out with black ministers, Hispanic | | | | single penny. I was sold out. But adding a |
| ministers, Episcopal ministers, Republican | | | | few waist sizes has helped me recognize now |
| ministers, and yes, to my shame, even | | | | what I didn't then: 18 year old kids suffer |
| ministers who are Yankee fans. You name 'em, | | | | from what author Warren Bennis calls |
| I've probably picked up their lunch tab. | | | | "Delusional confidence." We didn't envision |
| | | | the day when we would have a mortgage |
| When our conversations move past square | | | | payment, a car with 182,000 miles on it, and |
| footage and per capita giving and other | | | | one too many smiles around the dinner table |
| things that keep God up at night, we slowly | | | | that need braces. Thank God for delusional |
| let our guard down and begin to talk from the | | | | confidence or we would have bolted to the |
| heart. Inevitably, that's when a well guarded | | | | local university mid-semester of our freshman |
| secret is shared. For most ministers, it's a | | | | year. Nevertheless, and I'm ashamed to admit |
| secret they've never shared with their | | | | it, but you'd be surprised how many pulpits |
| colleagues, their churches, and sometimes | | | | would be empty if someone offered ministers a |
| even their spouses. I know I can count on one | | | | job similar or better in pay than their |
| hand the people I've shared it with. Until | | | | current assignment. |
| now. | | | | |
| | | | Boredom |
| Regardless of how betrayed my fellow | | | | |
| colleagues in the trenches might feel by me | | | | Finally, many a minister gets wanderlust |
| spilling the beans...I can't hold it in any | | | | because they have simply gotten tired of the |
| longer. I'm coming clean. | | | | "same ole, same ole." One minister confided |
| | | | in me that he thinks most of those in |
| Here it is: sometimes we wish we could quit. | | | | ministerial ranks change things in their |
| | | | churches simply out of boredom. If most |
| There, I said it. That felt pretty good. | | | | ministers are telling the truth, they'll |
| Ministers, say it with me, "Q-U-I-T. Adios. | | | | admit there is more fact to that than they'd |
| See ya. Hasta la vista. Outta here." | | | | like to admit. Now, before you start rolling |
| | | | up your sleeves to throw stones, think about |
| I think you get my drift. | | | | our typical week. Go to office. People. |
| | | | Problems. Study. Lunch time. More problems. |
| You want to know what surprises me? Every | | | | More study. More people. Leave office. Not |
| time I hear someone tell me they're firing up | | | | exactly the job for second-career NASCAR |
| a resume, I am always struck by how similar | | | | drivers. We ministers get into ruts. We get |
| the reasons are for why they are taking their | | | | bored. We lose energy. We read the church |
| hand off the plow. | | | | openings. On Mondays you'll find us on the |
| | | | mountaintop ready to tackle the world, but by |
| Difficult People | | | | Friday at 4:45 p.m. we're cruising Too |
| | | | often, to our shame, spending time with our |
| Many ministers say they're tempted to throw | | | | Creator becomes another "to do" item on |
| in the towel or move because of people. | | | | Microsoft Outlook. Ultimately, after a few |
| Problem people to be exact. I remember the | | | | years of hiking back and forth from the |
| first church I served. After a few months I | | | | mountaintop to the valley and back, we ask |
| was approached by a man who felt called by | | | | ourselves, "Is this it? Am I wasting my life |
| God to be my accountability partner...without | | | | doing this? Would a move to another church |
| asking me. He offered to take me out to eat | | | | cure this restlessness?" That's not the kind |
| one day, so I accepted. Little was I prepared | | | | of thing you want to hear out of the person |
| for what was about to happen. Setting down | | | | leading the charge, but more often than not |
| his sandwich he said, "Brian, there are a | | | | it's the truth. |
| number of things you are doing wrong, but for | | | | |
| the sake of time I've kept my list to 10." I | | | | My Strategy For Pressing On |
| made the mistake of saying, "Start with | | | | |
| number one." Two and a half hours later I | | | | I'm not sure if this will help, but let me |
| left with two things--30% less self-esteem | | | | share a few things that have helped me stay |
| and a really good case for why first cousins | | | | in the game so far. |
| should never marry. | | | | |
| | | | First, realize that no matter how hard it |
| Like most ministers, I've regularly felt the | | | | gets, it's only going to get harder. That may |
| sting of difficult people. Looking back on | | | | not be what you wanted to hear, but it's the |
| some of these situations I've come to one | | | | truth. A mentor of mine once told a gathering |
| conclusion: in every congregation there are | | | | of ministers, "Happiness is to be enjoyed |
| always 3 or 4 blessed souls that are there | | | | like a sunny day." Meditate on that |
| because no other organization in town will | | | | phrase...it will serve you well in our |
| put up with them. Yes, I agree that it's hard | | | | vocation. Look up the number of times Paul |
| to overestimate the damage some ministers | | | | used military phrases to describe our task. |
| have done to churches. I own that. I know | | | | Re-read 2 Corinthians and envision how that |
| I've caused my share of pain. But it's also | | | | letter was written with hands broken multiple |
| healthy to acknowledge that many of God's | | | | times preaching the same gospel we preach. |
| servants walk with a limp because no-one in | | | | Where in scripture did Jesus promise us a |
| their congregation had the guts to stand up | | | | balanced, contented, pseudo-Buddhist journey? |
| to a known troublemaker and protect their | | | | Take comfort in the fact that Jesus expects |
| leader. It's at those times it becomes easy | | | | you to be faithful to your calling but not |
| to question whether the price is too high, at | | | | derive all your joy and satisfaction from |
| least for me. | | | | your calling. |
| | | | |
| Those Highly Marketable Bible-College Degrees | | | | Second, make a vow. Almost a decade ago I |
| | | | picked up a book by a Presbyterian Minister |
| A while ago I stumbled upon one of those | | | | named Eugene Peterson called, Under The |
| well-known job search web sites. Supposedly | | | | Predictable Plant: An Exploration In |
| it is the largest in the world...matching | | | | Vocational Holiness. The book literally saved |
| thousands of employers with employees | | | | my ministry. In it he described how in the |
| everyday. I was curious so I plugged in my | | | | sixth century monks were moving from |
| education, experience, and the name of the | | | | monastery to monastery looking for deeper |
| mildly prestigious divinity school from which | | | | spiritual communities and greater challenges. |
| I graduated. Most ministers will understand | | | | Things got too tough or shallow...they moved |
| my elation at clicking the button and reading | | | | on. The problem of restlessness became so |
| a report that pointed me to a long, | | | | widespread that St. Benedict added to the |
| distinguished career at my local Krispy | | | | monastic vows of poverty, chastity, and |
| Krème. When I've talked with colleagues, | | | | obedience a fourth: the vow of stability. My |
| the feeling that is expressed is not | | | | hope is that every minister who reads this, |
| necessarily one of resentment, but of being | | | | regardless of their situation, will place |
| trapped. Even if they wanted to leave the | | | | themselves under St. Benedict's tutelage. |
| ministry, what kind of job could they get? | | | | |
| Could they make what they're making now? Is | | | | That's my story and I'm sticking with it. |